13 Petty Revenge Stories Totally Worth Your Time

I(33F) am here with a story about Chad(36m) having issues with my music.

I am big into music. Not following one genre or artist per se, but music itself. My friends have described it as eclectic, and I agree. I’ve gotten some bewildered looks by the sheer random contrasts between songs.

Normally when I listen to my music it’s with headphones in, or it’s only audible from the room I am in. The only time I blast music is in my car.

Anyway, progressively over a few months, Chad made his disdain for my music known, he would go out of his way to criticize all of it. At first I felt super bad that nothing I liked, could soothe his ears, but then it hit me. It wasn’t about what I listened to, but the fact that I was visibly enjoying it.

He would go out of his way to tell me to stop enjoying whatever I was doing. If he could not hear it, he would grab my attention to ask what it was, and then said he hated it.

So I started looking up his playlists that he had connected to his smart devices (TV/google home). I found that most of his music wasn’t bad. It was like a 80’s feel good bop and movie soundtrack. Nothing to evoke anything but happy feel good times. I would constantly hear him loudly belt it out, without bothering him.

So I started to play his music, figuring he would chill out. Nope. He got upset and stopped playing his music, stopped singing along and generally stopped bothering me over the music.

Then I went and I put my music on his play lists before I left.

u/ipsos_custodes420

12. Scammer Payback

I (26f) do not look like I would know a single thing about cars. 5’3 with long blonde hair, soft girly appearance, and an eternal baby face that makes me look about 15-16 years old. I drive a rather beat up looking 2004 Avalon. My dad and brother are both mechanics. Not my profession, but I’ve learned a thing or seven from them and am very comfortable working on cars. I’m only mentioning my appearance because it’s pretty common for mechanics to assume that I’m an idiot about cars.

A while back, I was pretty overwhelmed with life and didn’t have a good space to do it, so I took my car in to get the oil changed. The place offered a free of charge “head to toe” inspection for any repairs that might need to be made. I knew my car was fine. I had pretty recently changed the air filter and brake pads. Rotors had maybe 40k miles on them and were in great condition. New serpentine belt too. Literally just didn’t feel like changing my oil.

After they changed my oil, the guy came back with the “inspection results” on a clip board and was holding my air filter. He had this grave look on his face like something was wrong. Mind you, this is a very busy place and there were lots of customers in the waiting room. He told me that we needed to go over the results because my car was about to be completely broken down and also not safe to drive if I didn’t get several repairs done ASAP because these were all completely shot.

The repairs: new brake pads, new rotors, new calipers, replace serpentine and drive belt, NEW AIR FILTER, new compressor or my AC will not work(a heavy threat in the middle of summer in FL), and a couple more generic things. He showed me my air filter that was filled with dead grass, A DEAD WASP, some dirt, AND HAIR. Bruh. He really scooped some bullshit off the shop floor and put it in my new air filter to try and freak me out. The total? About $1500 worth of work. It would be more expensive anywhere else but he was “willing to give me a deal.”

So I immediately start buying myself time by asking some basic questions that I knew he would have to explain so I could nod at him all wide eyed while I came up with a good way to respond to what he was doing. “What does the serpentine belt do? Is it important? Etc.”

I texted my dad, “I’m calling in a sec just play along.” Told the guy, “omg that’s so scary I can’t believe I was driving around like that. Thank you so much for caring! I don’t have the money so let me call my dad real quick to see if he can help me out. I can’t afford this.” I then proceeded to enhance my dramatic performance by even working up a tear while I called my dad.

The guy is standing there with me in front of all the customers. I put my phone on speaker and gave my dad a whole sob story about how I need money again I’m so sorry can he help me? He asked what the repairs were and how much. I said “idk but it sounds REALLY bad. He says that it’s dangerous. Dad, I can’t be without a car. What am I going to do?”

Then I asked the guy to tell my dad what the repairs were. He rattles it all off and my dad is playing his part PERFECTLY. “Oh wow”, “mmhmm”, “oh my goodness I’m glad you caught this so she’s not in danger anymore.” Little did this scammer know, he was the one in danger.

He hands the phone back and I dropped the facade and start laughing really hard. As soon as dad hears me he started scream cackling into the phone. I said “DAD DO YOU HEAR THIS BULLSHIT?! Get this, he brought me my new air filter I just put in to show me how dirty it was. He pulled shit off the floor or something and rubbed it on there.” Dad and I continue to crack up. The audience in the waiting room was also cracking up. Scammy Mechanny was beet red and completely at a loss for words. Head down and some stuttering was his response.

I handed him my air filter and told him to go vacuum it out and to make sure to let me see it before he put it back in. I sat and watched him put it back once it was clean and also watched him pull my car out to make sure he didn’t do anything horrible while I wasn’t looking.

I might have taken it a little far, but I REALLY hate when mechanics take advantage of people who don’t know anything about cars, so this felt like a massive win. Big props to my dad for his performance, and for teaching me about cars.

11. Teacher Tricked

This is my first post so I’m sorry if I make mistakes. English is not my first language.

This all happened in the 90s when I was in middle school. I believe I was 11 years old. There was a teacher we’ll call Miss Weirdo from another class who I’ve seen before but never interacted much with her; I just knew who she was and that’s it.

One day during a family get together, we realized Miss Weirdo was a distant relative. Her sister is married to one of my grandma’s brothers. I was introduced to her and the family was talking about how she had to “take care of me” when she sees me in school from now on. She just smiled and agreed.

From then on, I would see her everywhere! In the halls, near my classroom, during recess; it was really weird. She would just look at me and scold me If I was doing something she considered “bad”. If I was playing with my friends she would tell me not to yell too much even though I was quiet or if I was walking to the bathroom she would make me go back to class saying I skipped class way too often even though I never did.

She would stop me and compare how I was wearing my uniform to that of my friends. It was so frustrating and I would tell my classroom teacher but she didn’t believe me and I don’t blame her; the situation was bizarre.

Fast forward a couple of months my teacher went on maternity leave and Miss Weirdo ended up being my substitute teacher. She would make me change seats constantly because I was “loud”, would ask me if I knew the answer to her questions every day and kept telling me my uniform was sloopy. We were kids, we were all sloopy!

One day, I had a sleepover with my best friend and I accidentally forgot my school shoes at her house. My mom sent me with another pair and I knew this was going to cause a problem. I called my bestie and told her to bring my shoes with her to the school.

When Miss Weirdo saw me with the incorrect shoes, she looked like it was Christmas for her. Now that I look back on it, I think she never escalated her behavior up until this point because her “complaints” didn’t match with my appearance; I was a tiny girl who looked way younger that I actually was, super quiet and I liked to hug everyone. If she told my parents or my other teachers that I was causing trouble, they would not believe her.

So now she had physical proof that I broke a rule by using shoes that weren’t part of the uniform. She yelled at me that I was in big trouble, she would make the principal come to the classroom and they would need to call my parents. (As if at that age my mom wouldn’t know how I dressed every day…)

I was super pissed.

When she left the classroom, my friend and I acted at the same time. I took off my shoes, she opened her backpack, gave me the correct shoes and hid the other ones. All in a couple of seconds and while all of our classmates were watching us.

When she came back with the principal, she just pointed at me and kept saying I was the one disregarding the rules and all that. That they needed to call my mom because obviously, I was a rebellious child who did whatever she wanted. The principal just looked at her, at me looking all dramatically sad and scared, my perfectly acceptable shoes and back at her.

When the principal kept looking at her as if he was considering retiring her because of her old age, Miss Weirdo turned around and looked at my shoes and oh boy, did she yell at me. She yelled that I stop pretending being a nice student, that I was trying to make her look bad and she just went and took my backpack and started looking for the other shoes inside.

The student desks were like a “double box” where you could store stuff under your seat and under the table and she also looked inside my desk. All the while, the principal asked a couple of my classmates what was going on and they just said Miss Weirdo always acted like that towards me. They never said I changed my shoes; it was amazing.

The principal very gently took her outside and told us he would send another teacher for the day and left. She stopped being our substitute teacher after that.

…That day I learnt I have a super innocent looking face and I could get away with anything. I’ve used this gift for the past 20 years.

https://www.reddit.com/user/TryingToRest/

10. Annoying The Boss

I work at a computer all day most days. My desk setup wasn’t the best so my posture wasn’t great. That caused a bit of physical discomfort, specifically some shoulder pain. I’ve fixed it since.

Anyway, because of that I had a habit of absentmindedly rubbing my shoulder. One day I did it while talking to my boss about some upcoming project. He went out of his way to mimic what I was doing back to me and be a real condescending prick about it saying “What’s this?” with a really snarky tone. I didn’t really react at all because he was so hostile about it out of nowhere.

Even though I don’t have shoulder pain any more I do it every single time I see him. Passing in the hallways? Rubbing my shoulder. Him quickly popping in to mention something? Rubbing my shoulder. In a meeting he’s a part of? Rubbing my shoulder. Every. Single. Time.

It’s been a couple weeks at this point. The first couple times he’d bring it up again and I’d just casually mention shoulder pain. He doesn’t even bother anymore, but it still visibly pisses him off.

I’ve been looking for new jobs and have some interviews next week. When I drop my notice on his desk? I think I might have a little shoulder pain.

https://www.reddit.com/user/SeveredStrings/

9. Time To Forfeit

It’s not the pettiest story that was posted in here, but it is the pettiest thing I’ve ever done and I’m so proud of it after all these years.

10 years ago, I was really obsessed with a card game called biriba. There was an online website where you could play it. Each player had a ranking, that would go up or down according to your wins or losses. If you chose to forfeit a game, you would lose points. The only way not to lose any points while playing the game, was to either win, or have the other player forfeit.

A biriba game usually lasts around 40-45 minutes. Before you start a game, you open a table, you set the table preferences and wait for the opponent to join. One of the preferences is how much time each player gets every turn they make. Each player gets a specific amount of time, that resets every time the player takes a turn. The typical time most players choose, is 1 minute. And they rarely use the whole minute. They usually play within seconds. You choose the table preferences you want, and wait for the other player to join and accept them.

A lot of the opponents try to win by deception. Meaning they set the time for each player at the maximum: 5 minutes. Then they take the WHOLE 5 minutes each turn they make. They only take their turn right before their 5 minute limit runs out. Most of their opponents get frustrated, tired and eventually forfeit.

There’s a second way of winning by deception at this game. I will try explaining it without boring you. In order to play this game, you have to create matching sets of at least three cards of the same group, for example 4-5-6 of clubs, or 3-4-6-7 of hearts etc. You start with 11 cards. The more (or bigger) sets you make, the more points you gather.

So in order to win, you have to eventually get more cards. Each turn you take you can either (a) draw one (1) card from the deck (b) or take all the cards from the discard pile. Then you discard (1) card. The game rule clearly states that in order to take the discard pile, you have to use one of the cards in the discard pile to create/compliment one of your sets, and then put down your set in order to prove that you did, in fact, use a card from the discard pile. The discard pile is one of the most wanted things in the game, because you gather a lot of cards at once and take better chances at gathering points.

Not a lot websites gave you the option to play biriba. Around that time I only knew one website, that had a flaw that was extremely abused by sly players (the second deception method). This flaw did NOT require the player to justify taking the discard pile. You could just take it without putting down any set, or justify your move in any way.

So a lot of players at every one of their turns, simply took the discard pile, discarded 1 card (usually the EXACT SAME card at every turn) so they wouldn’t let their opponent gather cards. The opponent was forced to draw every turn, and give up valuable cards since they couldn’t gather more than 11 cards. The sly opponent every turn took the discard pile that had 2 cards, and left only 1 card in the discard pile.

Their opponent would draw a card, discard 1 thus making the discard pile 2 cards. So at each turn the sly opponent would gain 1 more card while their opponent would gather none.

This resulted in the sly opponent eventually gathering enough cards to win, while their opponent kept the original number of 11 cards that hardly allowed them to create a set or two.

If you were aggressive enough, you could also start playing the second deception method against them. Taking that 1 single card from the discard pile and giving 1 back etc. But this simply could go on forever, with the game NEVER ending, and most players didn’t have the patience or the stomach for that. Except me.

So one day, around 8 p.m., I create a table for biriba. I set my options like always, 1 minute for each player. An opponent enters, so I click start. He clicks as well. After the game started, to my horror I see that he changed the time setting to 5 minutes. Immediately I knew what that meant. That he intented to use the first deception method, in order to make me forfeit. Man, I can’t even describe how much I hated those guys. They took forever, busted my nerves and made the game not enjoyable at all. That night I was at my wits ends with them.

I give him the benefit of the doubt and start playing. And wouldn’t you know it? He took the whole 5 minutes to complete his turn. Not only that, but he actually used the second deception method as well. The scumbag of scumbags. I took a few turns normally, just a few seconds each turn, while he used the whole 5 minutes. 20 minutes have passed, normally we would’ve been halfway through but the game was just starting. I send a couple of messages on the chat, asking to go faster. He completely ignored me. All the while he chose to take all the cards from the discard pile as well at each turn (second deception method).

Well that was it. I have had it. Two can play this game. I opened a movie on my pc, set a 4:45 minute timer for each turn I took, and then started taking the discard pile at each turn as well, while I used my whole 5 minute time limit at each turn. I only played 5-6 seconds before my time ran out. So at each turn the discard pile only had 1 card, and we kept doing that without allowing the other one to gather any cards at all. We each remained with very few cards for hours. And both of us took 5 minutes to complete their turn. As I said, a typical biriba game takes around 40-45 minutes.

In our case, hours have passed and we were at the same spot we begun. At first, I thought he would get tired easily. Admittedly he was tougher than I thought. I watched 2 movies and he was still going strong. The audacity on this guy. I was tired and sleepy, but so determined to not let him have his way. So I put a third movie in. I was a college student with all the time in the world.

Around 1:40 a.m., he started getting tired. Instead of using the whole 5 minutes, he started playing a little faster, he maybe used 3-3:30 minutes. It was obvious he was folding. I was very pleased with this, but still kept playing at the same pace. Around 2 a.m., (6 hours after we started our game) he dropped both his deception methods and started playing normally.

Each one of his turns was only seconds. He was clearly tired and wanted out. Ah, oh no you pos. You are not getting off this easily. I’m so mad and tired because you made me sit all night doing the exact same move at each turn, I will make you regret it. So I kept playing using both deception methods.

I used my timer normally and watched my third movie like I watched the other two. He sat there and endured all of it. The game kept going for another 2 hours. The game ended after 8 hours, at exactly 4 a.m., while he was tired, couldn’t wait to get out, played as fast as possible while sending a few messages to speed it up (which I completely ignored). What was the best part you ask? That I also won.

https://www.reddit.com/user/female_wolf/

8. Toxic Coworker

I had a senior female coworker that like to create and spread baseless rumours about others. I don’t really care when she did it to other people as long as it’s not me.

One day, a rumour about me doing indecent behaviours with my gf was spreading like wildfire. She told other people that me and my gf was having sex at my workplace. It got so bad that my supervisor wanted to meet me. Before I met my supervisor, I traced back the rumour to her. During the meeting, I told my supervisor that I know I did nothing wrong and one day I will make the bitch regret spreading lies about me.

I told my supervisor all the lies and rumours that she had spread in our workplace including rumours about my supervisor and how it has impacted everyone. My supervisor was speechless because I’m usually a pretty reserved person. She told me that she didn’t believe the rumours because of my track record. Not to toot my own horn, I’m an excellent employee. Never took an emergency leave, never calling sick.

One night during night shift, I was working with the shitty bitch. I put on noice cancelling headphone and blasted the whole place all night long (11 hours) with songs by System of Down and Eminem just to torture her psychologically. Apparently, she tried to leave the workplace and called the supervisor to complain about the loud music but she got ignored. She complained to her husband too. The next day her husband confronted me in the parking lot and asking me what’s my problem with his wife? I don’t have any problem with your with your wife why don’t you ask her, i replied. He tried to follow me and I flipped him off.

The next day he came to my workplace and tried to attack me. I purposely make sure that everything was recorded by the CCTV at my workplace. He shoved me and I whispered to him, you’re fucked now! Look at that CCTV and I will make sure your wife get fucked too. He got angrier and tried to shove me again but my coworkers got involved.

The next day, my boss (not the supervisor) call for a meeting and I told her about everything and showed her the CCTV recording. I told the bitch that I will file a police report soon and sue the hell out of your husband and good luck taking care of your kids when your husband is prison. She was begging me not to do it. I gave her and ultimatum, apologise and don’t ever let me see her husband’s face near me. She agreed. And i said, let this be a lesson for you not to spread rumours about others because someday u will meet a person like me too.

2 weeks after the incident, she got moved into different department and everyone that she had wronged was thanking me.

https://www.reddit.com/user/Lee_yw/

7. Keyboard Thief

Many years ago I was working at the office and noticed over time that my co worker would began to switch my things out with his. It started with the chair (his would squeak), then items would be rearranged on my desk as a joke, and finally it was the keyboard. He would always complain that a few of his keys would stick, and he was always one of those people who had to look at they keyboard in order to type. So one day, I got fed up after noticing my keyboard was having the same problem…

I bought a new, nice keyboard. Different from his so the swap would be obvious if he tried again. I took my old keyboard (which was on his desk), swapped two of they keys: N and M. Then I bought a remote controlled outlet and plugged one of his monitors into it and waited eagerly for him to arrive the next morning.

He arrives, and its business as usual. Opens up emails and starts typing away. Then, slowly, I noticed the mumbling. He starts loudly tapping they keyboard and compalining that the stupid thing is broken. I look over at him and give him a shrug.

Soon after, around 10am or so, I started with the monitor. I would randomly trigger the power via remote off and on. He starts getting more irate, slapping the side of it so I let it go for the day. I switch his keys back that evening but leave the remote outlet as this bothers him the most.

For the next 2 weeks I randomly trigger it on and off at different times throughout the day. After day 2, I notice he has swapped his monitor with mine and plugged it back into the same outlet. I smile to myself and continue onward. By day 3 he says he is going to get IT involved, so I gave them a ring and explained everything to them and they laugh and say ok.

Day 4 IT comes and brings him a “new” monitor. They plug it in, run some “tests” say it’s OK and give me a sly smile and move on. I wait another couple days and start it over again.

After some time of listening to him whine and complain, I decide it’s enough because he’s starting to put IT through some hell. They were good sports about it over the entire exchange and I removed the remote and he was never the wiser.

https://www.reddit.com/user/electriclear/

6. Middle Finger

I am someone in my late 20’s brown fellow living in the south. I have been a regular at this small restaurant for few years and usually sit at the bar. Sunday morning I walk in and sit at the bar, directly behind me is a booth with 4 ladies in their 20’s having breakfast. I don’t really pay much attention to them, the restaurant is pretty busy and all the waitress are running around.

I make my small talk with the waitress, get my coffee and order my food. As I wait at some point the ladies behind me had finished their food, left the booth paid and walked out. The table was being cleaned by another waitress and she finds a pair of glasses and asks the waitress who had the table about them. I said the ladies just left and are probably still outside in the parking lot and the waitress asked me if could flag them down and give the glasses back. So being friendly i got the glasses walked outside and find the ladies pulling out their car from the parking spot.

As I try to flag them to get their attention the two ladies in the front seat make eye contact, start laughing and then hit the gas without stopping, the ones in back yell something and give me the middle finger. I said screw it threw the glasses in the trash can and walked back in the restaurant.

Few minutes later i am back inside, eating my food, I see one of the ladies walk back inside talking to the hostess, she points to the waitress that had the table and are inquiring about the glasses. I am not going to lie it felt good when they pointed at me and see the look on her face. When the waitress asked what i had done with the glasses I told them “I put them in the trash outside when they gave me the middle finger” I didn’t get a apology the girl just walked out.

Few minutes go by they come back in asking which trash can I put glasses into it, i still hadn’t gotten an apology so i did what i thought was right and gave them the middle finger back and they left.

https://www.reddit.com/user/troubledneighbor/

5. Loud Party

Our neighbors had very, very loud parties frequently that would go until 3:00am or 4am even on weeknights. When I walked by his house to check my mail he would mutter insults to himself about me and my kids. I tried to talk to him through his adult son because my Spanish isn’t that great and his English was no better. I didn’t feel good about calling the cops on him because he is a minority and his English is poor.

Nothing worked, other neighbors did call the cops on him and his family and it didn’t work anyway. Finally I had completely had it and ordered this stuff called liquid a—. A couple of squirts were supposed to be effective but I didn’t know how well it would really work from the other side of our shared wooden fence.

The next party was on a Tuesday night and it was around midnight there was super loud music and tons of people dancing and drinking as usual. I went outside and poured the entire 4 ounce bottle on my side of the fence along the fence line then quickly ran back inside. Within 20 minutes the music was off and the guests were chattering trying figure out what was wrong.

The guests left to my delight and everyone in my house finally got some sleep. The following day there was a huge sewage repair company truck outside their house most of the day. A month later a for sale a appeared for one day and it was sold to very quiet lady who said “I hope my wind chimes aren’t too loud for you”. I do not miss them at all.

https://www.reddit.com/user/BloomSara/

4. Instant Regret

September of 2019 is when I am laid off by a former boss who was ousting people in order to hire her friends (and start an embezzling scheme as I later found out). At the time I did not really need the 2nd income as my wife has a great job and we took the opportunity to do some home renovations. Well in March 2020, I had the foresight to know that the Covid issue was going to come soon so I landed a role as a controller for a modest Property Management company here in East Cleveland. It was a lower paying controller role, but I knew this was the next step in my career and it would benefit me in the long run to have “Controller” on my resume… so I took the gig.

Fast forward to June of 2021 when we found out we were expecting our first child. I knew I needed to request a raise so I took multiple weeks to do market research on my role, experience, and company size. I even reached out to some recruiters I was connected with to confirm the salary range I should request to be in line with market standards. I won’t give you exact dollar figures, but I requested a raise of $20K in order to get me up to the 10th percentile of market standards with all relevant factors. I didn’t even ask for the average salary… just the 10th percentile!!! I did all this 1 week prior to my *late* 1 year review.

Boss (also the owner) said he was disappointed in my letter requesting such a large increase and how sudden it was. I stood my ground and said the raise was modest when compared to the market here in Cleveland. I was told the raise was not in the budget. Mind you that as the Controller, I CREATE THE DAMN BUDGETS!!! I know good and well where our financials stand and I knew my raise would be a drop in the bucket. But my boss is greedy and our turnover was way too high because of this… but I digress. He reluctantly gives me a raise that was pathetic and not anywhere near the 20K requested. He gives me a dollar figure that the Accounting department must stay under and says that it is my job to adhere to this. **this is important later**. At the time I did not have another option so I shut my mouth and planned my revenge.

2 weeks later, my AP person quit due to not getting a raise (no surprise there). Boss brings in his wife to work 20 hours a week until we fill the role. His wife is perfectly capable and quite smart, so I appreciated her offering to help. What I did not appreciate was seeing what he paid her on the next payroll. She was being paid 25% more than what I was being paid… and she only worked 20 hours compared to my 50. And when compared to the prior AP person, she was being paid 70% more.

This fueled my fire even more. We find a new AP person in September, but my boss keeps his wife on payroll as a “cONsuLtaNt” and continues to pay her 125% of my salary to do literally nothing. My internal fire is now white hot.

Its now Feb 2022 and I have just received an offer letter from a larger manufacturing company that pays great, has great benefits, and allows me to work a ton from home. I draft a letter to my boss for my resignation fueled by his instructions about staying within the defined budget for the Accounting Department. I am cutting a salary to meet that figure… my salary. I gave 2 weeks notice, because it wouldn’t look good to my new employer if I just quit.

I made sure that month end closing was started but not finished, made sure that my last day was 1 day prior to figuring payroll, and that all my intellectual property that helped with reporting and SOPs was deleted. We were also wrapping up 2021 year end with our CPA, but I didn’t really feel like working my butt off to finish that. He did not speak to me the last 2 weeks.

Its now late April and I learned this morning that everyone under me has quit because they did not want to work for him after seeing how he dealt with me.

I don’t feel bad for him. He talks the talk about treating people fair and justly, but its damn time someone shows him that he doesn’t walk the walk.

https://www.reddit.com/user/Plaid__Dad/

3. Bouncer’s Revenge

I used to bounce along a strip that was very popular. Many of the bars along that strip were run by the same company I worked for. So I knew most of the bars, their managers and made friends with all the bouncers. Its just the way it is y’see.

So this lady comes in with 5 other males. One of which appeared to be her boyfriend. So her boyfriend disappears for a few minutes to go to the toilet. Meanwhile she begins grinding up on some random on the dance floor. Bf’s mates were drinking at their table away from the dance floor. Convenient. Anywho boyfi comes back and isn’t too impressed with the rubbish going on so he kicks off. Poor random cops a few punches to the face and ofc we get involved and kick the lady, boyfriend and the rest of the Jackson five. Lady meanwhile is trying to say that he came onto her. Yeah sure lady. He came onto you and the only thing you could think to do was reverse into him and twerk to scare him away. But she was tipsy so ofc its not her fault 👀.

We kick them out and the rest of the boys follow along not long after. They took it really well. Boyfi is still screaming outside and calling for more. Random man’s inside nursing a fat eye and I’m trying to keep that lady from rushing back in to fight him too. Honestly… I’ve had enough at this point and tell them all to fuck off. She even throws a few slurs at the random man inside. One of which were racial and because I related to it I thought it was time to ruin this ladys night. She insisted that I was a monkey so… allow me to oblige. They eventually walk off to try out the other bars while she’s still yammering about how much of a power trip I’m having. The last thing I remember her saying was to go back home to my 5 other baby mama’s LOL. Had a good laugh about that one.

I see them waiting in the queue at the bar across from me. So what do I do? Nothing yet. I wait for them to get just before the front of the line (15 min wait) and then I walk over and tell the bouncer what they just got kicked for. The friends catch the hint and ditch those two. Good choice. She begins blubbering and crying about injustice and me being petty.

I’m about to show you the meaning, lady. Her friends catch a cab and go home which just leaves my favourite two people in the world there. They leave that line and attempt another bar on my side of the road but further in. Same thing again. Wait until they’re just near the front. I radio in (the bars that are part of my company are all linked via radio for nights like this) to the head bouncer of that club and tell him which ones not to let in. I stand in front of club just watching them in the line and I see them get denied at the door. When they asked the head bouncer why, he pointed at me.

The look of disbelief on her face. I loved it. I just smiled and waved. She took off to another bar after having another tanty. By then every one of our bars knew which ones to deny entry to because the other head doorman passed the info down the line. I watched her and her partner walk down the line and get denied by another two bars LOL.

She came back to me still crying saying that i ruined her and her boyfriends night. She asked me how I could sleep at night knowing that I’m a shit person ruining random peoples nights. I replied “How do I sleep at night? Comfortably…. with my 5 baby mama’s!!

2. Scammer Got Owned

I started some freelance work through Upwork. So far it’s been pretty cool, but today was my first time dealing with a scammer. I knew it was a scammer right off the bat, because I applied to two different job postings that were essentially the same job—but supposed to be for separate companies. These jobs were for QA testing mobile games.

I received two messages right after one another, and the messages were identical. That was already a red flag for me. I changed up my responses between them, giving them the benefit of the doubt— maybe they think I’M the scammer. They both asked me if I was interested in the job, and told me they needed to ask me some questions before I continue.

They asked me what kind of phone I use, and how long I’ve had my AppleID account. Then they requested screen shots of all of my downloaded apps in last 90 days. One of the accounts sent me pictures on how to do it, but I noticed the file name of the screenshots were in Chinese. This wouldn’t be an issue, except their profile said they were located in USA and their job posting was found in the USA only section.

During this time, the account that sent me the file with a Chinese title was deleted for “breaking terms and conditions of Upwork”. So it was safe to assume someone else caught on, and reported the one profile. I decided to take this opportunity to gather as much evidence against the remaining profile, and waste their time so they aren’t using their time to scam other people.

So I supply them a cropped image of what they requested, then I would ask them questions like where are you located? What is the name of the app I am testing? Will I be using TestFlight or another similar software for bug reporting. They kept trying to dodge my questions and tried to tell me “we are a normal company” while pushing me to sign the contract sent by ANOTHER scam profile, supposedly the profile of their HR Rep.

The contract they sent me was super sus. It was for a different amount and It wasn’t even close to the job posting I applied for. The title even sounded like a scam. “Recruitment for customer service, a job for baby mothers. Can be done at home”. Now THIS made me mad. Now they are using this app specifically to target moms with babies? Gross. I tell him I don’t have a baby and ask him if I’m disqualified? He said no ofc not, anyone can do this!

I asked why the contract was so different, they said it doesn’t matter. I said it does, I want to make sure the contract is aligned with the work I’m doing. They said they’d fix it. So they changed the amount and sent another. But I obviously had problems with that one too. Again, they tried to assure me it was fine and nothing matters but the job description was still different. So I had them change that one and edit it and send a new one.

Now I’m picking apart their final contract, I’m playing stupid and asking more questions. Why do I need a home phone for this? I only have a cell phone? What is the name of the app? Pretending like I’m just clueless and stupid. I can tell he’s getting frustrated because he keeps trying to get me to sign the contract but I keep saying I need more info. He asked if I needed a break, I said no way! I am so excited to start. Just give me a little more info so I can make sure I can do this since I’m so new at it! /s

After asking multiple times, and him beating around the bush; he explains the job he wants me to perform. I am to use a “company gift card” and make purchases with it on the app so they can “test their virtual card and recharge function”. Yeah right! I start asking him questions again like, will I be able to play the game? Is this real money? Do I get tokens? He still never answered if I need to have a home phone or not! Do I receive a real physical card too? Will it come in the mail? Will he need my address? How do I test the card? He assures me I don’t need to do anything, just sign the contract and follow his directions. You’d think by now, if he was a real employer, he would not be wasting so much time trying to explain this to someone. He obviously didn’t know how to play the part, because he kept coming off pushier and more incessant than before.

So I ask AGAIN what app am I downloading? And finally after my 7th time of asking, he sends me a screen shot of an idle clicker game. This file name also happened to be in Chinese. Just like the first guy! I ask him why it’s in Chinese, and he says it’s for the international version…because he’s obviously an American living in America. Can’t you tell by his obviously cliche’ white bread name he got out of a gacha pon machine? I act really excited and impressed to be doing a world wide international job! I tell him I’m going to go download the app (fuck no I’m not).

After I “download it”, I pretended to be really impressed that he’s working for a totally different company than he mentioned before 🤩. He sends me the credit card info, and then tells me to put the credit card info as my AppleID default for payments. I pretend I don’t know where that is, or how to find it, and he sends some more screen shots of an iPhone all in Chinese with red arrows where to push. Again, I feign ignorance and pretend I can’t find where he wants me to put it because I don’t have “WeChat” or any of the Chinese writing he had. 🥴🤣

I pretend for a little while longer that I couldn’t find it, and waste his time a little more. I tell him I finally put it in but it declined, he told me to try again and send a screen shot when I’m finished. So I get a picture of Tiananmen Square off Google, send that as my screenshot and end our messages with “fuck you scammer” written in Chinese. He acted confused and I told him I just wasted his time for fun, CCP sucks and he’s getting reported, then I blocked him and all the other profiles they used.

I took 5 hours of his time throughout the course of this interaction. I can only hope he’ll get in trouble for not making any money for those 5 hours he wasted for nothing. It definitely wasn’t a waste for me lol.

I took screenshots of our entire conversation and I added it as a post on my profile. If you’re interested in reading the screenshots, I’ll put the link in the comment section for easy access.

1. Kicked Out

I work at a night club part time as floor staff. (My job is to collect empty cups and generally clear up after all the messy drunk people.) This particular night my mood was slowly going down. Mostly because I had to clean up vomit three times before the incident (six times total by the end of the night.)

I’m walking through the dance floor with a half full basket of cups, doing my usual route for the hundredth time when I feel a tug on my hair. (My hair is about shoulder length, not too long but quite long for a guy.) I whip around and see a guy laughing. I instantly say “Don’t” as sternly as I can. He just goes “Ooo” like a child who is in trouble but doesn’t care and just continues laughing. I instantly turn around and grab security, luckily there was one posted just a few feet away from where this happened. I point to the guy and say “Him, kick him out.” The bouncer then starts escorting him through the dance floor and out into the alleyway. (The alleyway leads to the entrance/exit)

I start to go back to my job but I just can’t. I drop off the basket and head to the staff smoking area to try to calm down. I take deep breaths and then sit down for a minute with my head in my hands. After a couple minutes I think I’ve calmed down enough to go back.

On the way back I see the guy with his friend talking to the bouncer that escorted him off the dance floor and pass them on my way to grab something (opposite their direction.) I then run into my manager who then asks me what happened with the guy outside. I tell him just kick the guy out, he says he wants to know what happened first. I tell him a quick version of what happened in a rather pissed off tone and start to go back to my job. At this point I am really pissed off again and having trouble getting back to a level of calm I work with.

I have to pass the guy and he actually apologizes saying he was just messing around and reaches his hand out for me to shake it. I take a deep breath and a second to think. I think I should say; “any other day I would let it go, but today I was already in a terrible mood.” Then tell the bouncer to just kick him out and move on. But instead I shake his hand say “its alright” and go back to work. Still seething and now is the worst mood I’ve been in, in a long time.

I catch up with a friend from my secondary school and tell him what happened. He is sympathetic and tells me to go take more time to calm down. I still work but I’m feeling a little better. Thinking because he apologized he is probably back on the dance floor, barely learning his drunk lesson.

While on my route I pass the bouncer that escorted him again and ask him how it went. He says after he got the guy to apologize they kicked him out. I have the biggest grin on my face and later my manager notices. He says after I told him what happened he got the head bouncer and told him to kick him out. The head bouncer just told them “you don’t touch staff” and told them to leave. “Them” because the guy that did it and his friend both got kicked out.

I felt a little bad for the friend because he didn’t do anything. But also he didn’t do anything. He could have stopped or at least chastised his friend for what he did but he didn’t say anything to him or me when it happened. He wasn’t banned but my mood went from awful to satisfied really quick.